My Story as a Troubled Teen & The Love That Saved Me



I’ll start by talking about my own experience as a youth. Growing up drugs were in my environment where I lived. I watched my dad’s life spiral out of control with a Heroin addiction for many years. I would cry for my daddy who I loved every time he was locked up in prison again. I had high hopes clinging on to every promise he made to me. Promises like “This is the last time”, and “I’m Going to change” etc. Every time he would get out of prison everything was great! All was well until the problems of life were in his face. Things like our grades, my tight jeans bothered him, our rooms needed to be cleaned. He would find an excuse to be mad & so that was “why” he had to go. He would go back to his old ways . We wouldn’t see him again for long periods of time. My Mom would be depressed all over again & sleep so much due to the whirlwind of confusion in our lives.

We were all so dysfunctional. I think I tried pot at around age 11. Someone was babysitting me at age 12, their friend who was there gave me a drug in a glass pipe to smoke. You would think I would have had common sense not to do this. But somehow I thought that drugs were normal. Later in my teens I was into Meth and Cocaine.

I wanted to be thinner, so I asked someone who was skinnier then me how she did it. How did she stay so thin? She told me she would eat and then make herself throw up. She told me also take laxatives. We also shared drugs mostly meth. I was a real mess.

I started to become bulimic. I would eat and purge. Every time I took a shower, my Mom would listen by the door. Because I would purge in the shower & she knew it. The enamel off my front tooth started coming off probably from the acid in my stomach due to purging. She asked me to stop doing this to myself. But I was so self-destructive. I also went through a time of practically starving myself.

I had a lot of suicidal thoughts and heard voices telling me to kill myself .I was so confused and no one could help me.

During this time in my life I remember people saying terrible things about me to my parents. Even though most of it was true. Their gossiping about me hurt so badly and it broke my parent’s heart to hear these things. Never once did these people try to reach out to me or share with me their Christian faith. I didn’t trust them & I felt worthless. But God is the one who put a stop to all of this confusion. He snatched me from the road of destruction. He redirected my life & made me new. He gave me such a peace.

I now minister to at risk youth, I am such a blessed woman. I have seen what Love can do. I am a life that was changed because he loved me. As flawed and imperfect as I was, he still valued my life & loved me. I will never forget all he did for me.

That’s how the Lord looks at youth, valuable, priceless and loved. Telling someone I love you is good, but go further. Buy a youth a meal, this means a lot to them. I find sharing a meal with people shows you care. Take time to hear what they have to say. Be a good listener and pray for their lives often. Kids know a phony, they are street smart and can tell when someone is real. Speak life into their situation that seems hopeless to them. They need mentoring, encouragement to get an education & they need the Lord in their lives. There is nothing God cannot do. My life is changed because someone loved me. That someone was Jesus. He saved me from taking my own life and gave me a new one. I am not the same. Love gives people motivation to go on. Love gives people hope that everything will be OK. People need to know there is someone who will never reject them, so we point them to God!

By the way I have more good news, my dad has been clean for many years now, Praise God!

John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Romans 5:8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Proverbs 8:17 I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Luke 7:47 “I tell you, her sins–and they are many–have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.”